Mark Stevens, in his incredible book, “Your Marketing Sucks,” argues that if your marketing is not returning $1 for every $1 you spend, then your marketing sucks. It’s a brilliant lesson we all need to learn.
That said, those of us involved in South Bay theatre need to quickly come to grips with the fact that we have an additional problem. Yes, our marketing sucks, but not just because we rarely even pretend to understand what ROI really means (and it’s not engagement or clicks).
Our marketing sucks because it’s boring AF.
We represent the vibrancy of our work in the performing arts with the emotional warmth and sophistication of the institutional beige of waiting room walls of corporate cubicles.
Show descriptions have become exercises in careful neutrality, written with all the passion of Ikea’s Scandinavian instructions.
How the hell are we going to convince potential patrons of the transformative nature of our work when all we offer are banalities with all the visceral excitement of oatmeal?
Our most provocative, boundary-pushing productions are wrapped in marketing language so safe it could be used to advertise both "Waiting for Godot" or a middle school production of "Annie" without changing a word.
Our artistic vision for seasons now arrive in identical digital packages: clean, minimalist designs that speak in the same measured tone as a wellness app.
Our photography is interchangeable: actors in contemplative poses, staring into middle distance, bathed in lighting that suggests depth without committing to any particular emotion.
Fucking boring!
This pandemic of beige has, for 20 years, infected our web presence as well. Distinctive artistic voices are filtered through homogenizing template-driven sameness. Navigation menus read like they were generated by an AI trained on a database of "professional web presence best practices."
You know what “best practices” get you? Not a goddamn thing! A lack of distinction, unique voice or any reason whatsoever to engage.
More boring!
Tragically, our “About Us” pages blend together in a cacophony of mission statements that could be shuffled like playing cards at a Las Vegas blackjack table without anyone noticing the difference. Does anyone even read that crap?
I actually do and it’s universally god awful.
You social media specialists are not off the hook either. You have taken what might be the perfect platform for unique artistic expression and, with your adoration of “best practices,” turned it into the same beige banalities presented with the same carefully curated enthusiasm of a corporate team-building exercise.
The irony is palpable: theatre, an art form built on bold choices and creative risk-taking, is being marketed with all the daring and enthusiasm of a municipal bond offering.
Again, there are 1.9 million people living in Santa Clara County (the South Bay). If you offend or turn off 1 million people, there are still 900,000 others. If you turn off 90% of the county and only attract 10%, you still have an audience of 190,000 people. If you turn off 5% of the county and only attract 10%, you still have an audience of 80,000 people. If you turn off 99% of the county and only attract 1%, you still have an audience of 19,000 people. What would 19,000 paying patrons mean for YOUR theatre company?
The math works, but we’re spending all our time running around like scared little beige mice being insufferably boring.
Theater as art is meant to provoke!
To surprise!!
To transform!!!
Why the HELL are we working so hard to keep this a secret???
So why the hell are we striving with the commitment of a religious zealot toward inoffensive professionalism?
We were not meant to splash about in a uniform pool of safe choices that turn each company into another indistinguishable voice in a chorus of highly cultivated mediocrity.
Until we get off our asses and live up to the promise of our art form, South Bay theatre marketing will continue to be the equivalent of theatrical elevator music: present, polished, and entirely forgettable. As will we all … very soon.